Dear Diary
by Proforce
Summary: Story 10! Today's the big day! The day Tammy officially becomes a Ranger Reservist. Does she have what it takes, or is it all for naught? Told 1st person from Tammy's perspective.


"Dear Diary..."  
Authors: Robert Brown and Francis Tolbert

Disclaimer: This story uses characters created and copyrighted by Disney (except where noted, in which case they were created and copyrighted by us or by another and we have permission to use them). The authors hereby give permission for this story to be downloaded and/or printed at 1 copy per user as long as (1) no changes to the story are made without our express written(not e-mailed) permission and (2) no attempt is made to profit from this story. If either or both rules are violated, it will be considered a violation of copyright law.

Author's Note: This is a new thing for me. We've done pieces of a story from first person perspective but never an entire story before. I hope it turns out as well as we think it will. There are question marks in the Cast of Characters not because we're introducing someone new; you'll find out why when it comes up. Till then, enjoy it and Happy Reading!

Cast of Characters(in order of appearance)  
Tammy  
Theresa  
Bink  
Foxglove  
Dale  
Monterey Jack  
Chip  
Gadget  
Zipper  
Detective Spinelli

#10

I've never been so mad in all my life! How dare he...! Who does he think...! Aargh! I can't even think straight right now! I hope this is my tree I'm climbing up; it's gonna be really embarrassing if it's not. But yes, I can just make out the familiar pink door through the red haze that covers my vision.

I kick open the door, almost knocking it off its hinges. "Men!" I scream, stomping inside and kicking the door shut so violently that it feels like the entire tree rattled.

"Tammy!" I hear Mother exclaim in surprise and dismay. I can see a pile of knitting lying in a heap on the floor, probably dropped by Mother when I slammed the door. I should probably feel bad about that, I really should. But right now I'm just too angry to care.

"Not now Mom," I almost snarl at her, brushing past her on the way to my room. Now that I do feel a little bad about. She hasn't done anything to me. Well, at least nothing that deserves this level of anger. I can almost see her standing there behind me, looking hurt and confused. I know I should turn and apologize, but seeing her like that will break my anger. I need to be angry now, it's the only way I can cope.

The door to my room, the door I know I closed and locked on the way out this morning, is cracked open. I'm not surprised, but somehow it just makes me angrier. I shove open the door just in time to catch my little sister Bink jump off my bed, a thousand excuses on her lips. One look at my face and the only thing she could say was, "Eeep!" before hightailing it through my legs and out of my room.

I close the door with far more force than is needed, making it bounce back toward me before the lock catches. I close it again, leaning against it this time so I can turn the bolt lock that I had Gadget install a couple weeks ago. A girl's gotta have her privacy, right?

My bedroom is my place of refuge, the one place that I know I can always go to and be alone. My bed is so soft that I can sink into it and pretend that I'm being held safe and secure in whosever arms I need to be in that moment. But tonight as I throw myself down onto it, it feels stifling and clinging for the first time ever.

Heaving a sigh through my nose, I stare up at the ceiling. When I was younger, I always wanted to paint it some weird color or pattern to give me something cool to look at when I woke up. But Mother had never once let me do so, and as I grew older I could appreciate why. I never tired of seeing the grain of the wood above me, always discovering something new about it. It was a comfortable and familiar sight, the color and texture almost reminding me of...

"Aargh!" How could I be thinking of him? Am I really that obsessed that after everything he's done I still can't get him out of my mind? There has to be a way to stop this! Mom used to tell me that the best way to get something out of your mind was to write it down. Couldn't hurt to try that I guess. Besides, I haven't written anything in a while so I'm due.

I roll out of bed and walk over to my dresser. I had Gadget build me a secret compartment in the side so I could hide the things that were most important to me. She did such a good job I sometimes forget where it is! In my current mindset, that would probably not be a good idea, so I'm very glad when I open it up and retrieve my diary.

I toss it carelessly on the nearby desk and pull a chair over, not caring about the harsh sound it makes scraping across the floor. I open it up to the first clean page and grab the pen that Mother gave me for my last birthday. "Dear Diary," I write, "you won't believe what he did to me today!" It's only when I realize that I've underlined the word "he" about seven times that I know I need to calm down or I'll destroy my precious book. "Let me tell you all about it," I continue once I've taken a few deep breaths.

As you know, today was my first official day as a Ranger Reservist. I haven't written about anything else for the last week! I was so excited last night that I couldn't really sleep. If I had known then what I know now I would've slept in late if I showed up at all. I know that's weird for me to say, but you'll see what I mean as we go along.

I was up and dressed with the sun, something Mother was always trying to get me to do but never could quite make it stick. So you can imagine how surprised she was when I rushed past her while she was making breakfast. I was halfway out the door before she yelled my name and froze me in my tracks. I hope when I'm a mother I'll be able to do that. I turned around to make my best excuse to her, but she was just standing there with her I'm-your-mother- and-you'd-better-listen-to-me-before-you're-grounded look. My feet carried me back over to the table before I even realized it.

One look at the plate of acorn waffles dripping with chestnut butter and maple syrup made my stomach growl something fierce; even now I'm getting hungry just thinking about it. But this morning I was too preoccupied with the day ahead to care much about manners and tried to shovel the food into my mouth as fast as possible. All that got me was a sharp rap on my knuckles from Mother. She didn't say anything, but I got the message loud and clear.

After breakfast, which at the time I thought way too long but now I think didn't take nearly long enough, I dashed out the door, waving goodbye to both Mother and Bink. I must've run halfway to Ranger Headquarters before Chip's warning popped into my head. "You'll need your energy tomorrow," he'd told me last night in that no nonsense way of his. "Don't waste all your energy on running all the way over here."

I have to admit I sighed when I thought of his voice. I'd thought he was just looking out for my well being and I couldn't help but fall into yet another daydream of what life with him could be like. Yeah, like that's ever going to happen again. I'd rather twist his head off and pour acid down his throat before ever letting him even look at me again.

When I reached the tree, Foxglove was waiting around the roots for me. "Good morning!" she chirped, happy to see me. "You're right on time."

"Morning Foxy," I said, giving her a big hug to show how excited I was.

She returned my hug with a laugh. I didn't know her as well as I know the other Rangers, but I was quickly seeing just how Dale could be attracted to her. Her smile and laughter was positively infectious! "Want a ride up?" she asked. I nodded eagerly and held my arms out like I'd seen Dale do a few times before. It only took her a short hop to lock her knees under my arms and we were airborne!

Let me tell you oh Diary of mine, flying with Foxglove is easily the most exhilirating experience of my life. It's hard to describe, but being in mid-air without anything solid under me, relying only on the strength of her wings to keep us both up, made me wish I had my own wings. I still do.

When we reached the landing branch, Dale was outside waiting for us. Too late I saw that mischievous glint in his eyes and I knew I was in trouble. I tried grabbing on to Foxy's legs but she had already let go, dropping me right into Dale's tickling hands. I hate to say it but I squealed like Bink. I tried to get away, but he was just too good and I had to give it up, much to my embarrassment. "Dale!" I whined after he let me go.

"Don't look so serious kiddo," he said, tugging on my braid a little. "Lighten up and have some fun!"

"Or have some breakfast," Monty called from the doorway with that ridiculous chef's hat on his head.

"I already had some Monty," I informed him, rolling my eyes. As if I'd forget something so important? Of course, he didn't need to know that it was only because Mom made me. And I wasn't about to tell him either.

"Well it's a good thing you did," Chip said, brushing past Monty as the big mouse headed inside. "Sounds like you're ready for your big day."

I can't believe how much I blushed under his praise. I was so happy to get even that much recognition from him that I stammered like a girl with her first crush. Never mind that I was exactly that, was being the key word. Of all the things I want to do to him right now, none of them are romantic and all of them are over-the-top violent.

But getting back on the subject, after I was inside and rested for a little bit, Gadget sat down next to me. I could see her frown when I looked at her; guess she caught me staring at Chip too much and didn't like it. "Can I ask you something Tammy?" she asked. I always thought it was a stupid thing, asking someone if you could ask them something.

I had a pretty good idea what she wanted to ask me, so I decided to beat her to the punch. "Yes Gadget, I am doing this for me. No, I am not doing this to impress Chipper. Yes, I will take this very seriously and I know this isn't a game. Does that cover it?"

"Am I that easy to read?" We shared a laugh and she squeezed my shoulder gently. "Now that that's cleared up, you'll be taking the morning shift at the police station with Dale, Foxglove, Monty, and Zipper. After lunch you'll spend that time with us looking around to see what we can find. For now, Chip and I are gonna stay here and see if anyone comes looking for us."

"I'm sure that's all you'll be doing," I teased her with a smile. She blushed something horrible, beating a quick retreat to her workshop. Looking back on it, I can't believe how much like me she seemed at that moment. But when I was actually there, I had to fight down a flare of jealousy and make it look like I was only happy for her.

Breakfast just dragged on and on in that tree, so much so that I was almost bouncing off the walls waiting for them to finish. When they were finally done, I all but pushed them out the door over Chip telling me to relax or something. Just as well anyway since we had to walk over to the police station.

I thought it was odd that we were walking since there didn't seem to be anything wrong with the Ranger Wing. I asked about that on the way only to get about seven different answers. At the time I just assumed they wanted to work me hard to see if I'd give it up as being too hard for me. I even told them as much to which Dale chuckled in what I thought was a guilty way. I thought that confirmed my statement. I know better now.

I wasn't sure what to expect when we got there, but I didn't expect it to be so...boring. I mean really boring. Try to count the blades of grass in the park boring. It was no wonder that the guys pulled out a deck of cards to help them pass the time. The only thing I learned in the first hour was never play poker with Zipper unless you intend to lose.

I kept lookout for cases as best I could, but by the second hour I was having trouble staying awake. Foxglove wandered over from cheering on her boyfriend to keep me company, which I was thankful for. At least until she started asking me very pointed questions about my feelings for Chip. I don't remember everything she asked me, but I know I got annoyed the third or so time she asked the same thing.

"Look Foxglove," I told her, "if either Chip or Gadget put you up to this, you can assure them that I am completely over my crush on him, OK?" I must've been pretty convincing because she let the matter drop and left to drape her wings over Dale. Of course if she asks me this again I'll mean it wholeheartedly.

About an hour later I heard a weird kind of ripping sound. I didn't know what it was at first, then I realized it sounded like a bag of potato chips being opened. But I didn't smell the familiar odor of oil and starch. No, the scent I was picking up was a very distinct cheddar. I quickly spotted the open bag of cheese puffs sitting on the detective's desk, I think his name is Spinelli or something, but by then it was too late.

Monty had already smelled it and gone into his Cheese Attack. Dale tried valiantly to stop him, but only bounced off his gut and landed on his girlfriend. Chip had warned me that a Cheese Attack could wreck the whole day, not to mention the next few days at that. So I came prepared.

As Monty charged past me I stuck out my leg, tripping him flat on his face. I sat on his neck before he could recover and slammed a clothespin over his nose. "Now Monty," I told him as he poked at the clothespin, "you have two choices. Either you leave it on, or I glue it on. Got it?"

When he really wants to, Monty can pout worse than Bink! And that's saying something. I could see Dale and Foxglove out of the corner of my eye banging their heads together and muttering something, but I didn't really want to know what. With that situation defused, I went back to my seat, hoping to get some real action.

But alas(dramatic, ain't I?) it was not to be. By the time afternoon rolled around I could barely pay attention over the drooping of my eyelids and the growling of my stomach. "Hey guys," I called, interrupting their latest game, "how about we break for lunch?" It was as if they were just waiting for me to say something because Monty rushed over to grab me and carried me up to the roof right behind the others.

As we headed toward the drainpipe slide that would bring us back down to the sidewalk, I noticed something odd. A triplet of what appeared to be catapults sat neglected in a shadowy corner, collecting dust. "What are those?" I asked.

Dale looked where I was pointing and chuckled. "I forgot all about those," he said. "We used to use them to get back to the tree in the early days, before Gadget worked out all the kinks in the plane. They were aimed just right to launch us all back there in just a minute or two."

"Why don't we use them now?" I wondered.

Everyone looked distinctly ill at ease at the suggestion. "Tammy," Foxglove said slowly, "Gadget's in charge of making lunch today."

"Say no more," I said quickly, my stomach quieting suddenly. "Come on guys, let's make sure we take our time getting back." I'm not sure how long it actually took us to reach Headquarters, but I know it took longer than it did to make our way to the police station this morning.

By the time we sat down at the table I was hungry enough to eat anything, even if it was made by Gadget! Fortunately for the lot of us she had opted to prepare a fresh salad instead of making anything complicated. We all dug in heartily, though I was warned away from using any of the salad dressing she had made. Not that I would've tried it anyway with the color and consistency of motor oil, but I was grateful for the fact that they were looking out for me.

After I had shoveled down half my bowl, I noticed that Chip and Gadget weren't eating and immediately became suspicious. Chip noticed my look and held up his hands defensively. "We already ate," he explained. "Besides, while we were waiting for you guys to get back a case popped up."

"A case?" I asked, my head popping up so fast that I nearly choked on a chunk of tomato.

I could see Chip rolling his eyes as Monty thumped me good on the back to dislodge it. "Seems like a flock of birds is running a racket in the park," he said when I stopped coughing. "Something about making chipmunks pay them off with seeds to 'protect' them from being attacked when they make forage runs. Of course, if they don't pay, it's this flock that attacks them."

"That's horrible," I said. If only I'd known then...did I mention that already?

Chip nodded at what I said as he and Gadget headed to the door. "We'll do the footwork on this while you guys eat. Shouldn't take us too long to get a bead on this."

I must've shoveled the entire rest of the bowl in my mouth in one forkful; guess these expanding cheeks are good for something. "I'm coming!" I called, working my jaw furiously to chew everything.

"No need to rush Tammy," Gadget said. Wish I'd listened to her... "I don't think--"

"Hey," I interrupted, careful not to spew out any of the food in my mouth. "You said that I was to be with you after lunch. Well," I said, pausing just enough to swallow what I was chewing, "I'm done." Chip looked at me with a look he normally reserves for Dale, but just sighed and motioned for me to follow. I cheered and almost skipped after him, ignoring the laughs and chuckles behind me.

Another thing I learned today was that when Chip says footwork, he means footwork. We spiraled out from the tree, asking every rodent, insect, and lizard we came across if they knew anything about these birds. A pattern soon emerged. The only ones who knew what we were talking about lived in the extreme southern end of the park. Once we figured that out we focused our searching on that area, and it didn't take long to catch one of the gang in action.

A pair of chipmunks, newlyweds by the look of them, were being harrassed by a pigeon. We weren't close enough to make out what they were saying, but we could certainly see the bird brush them down with the back of his wing. "Hey!" Chip yelled as we ran over. "Leave them alone!"

The pigeon looked at us and swiped the back of his wing in our direction like we didn't even matter. "Stay outta this!" he yelled at us, sounding like he'd watched a few too many mobster movies. I guess that should've been a signal of some kind, but I didn't even pick up on it. "For your own sake, you'd better keep your noses outta my business."

"Believe me, I'd like nothing more," I said, holding my nose. That guy smelled like he hadn't bathed in a week! I know a lot of the beliefs that humans have about pigeons are exaggerated, but this guy made it all seem true.

Apparently he didn't think I was amusing because he started trying to insult me, making fun of my hair and tail. Now, I take some pride in my appearance; most girls do. So I was naturally upset and I gave it back as good as I was getting despite Chip and Gadget trying to stop me. Better even.

It was around the time I reeled off three insults in a row about his hygiene, his feathers, and his family that he realized he was outmatched. He flew up and I thought he was flying away. But he turned around and came right at me talons first!

Chip knocked me out of the way a little roughly, but I would rather have a bump on my nose than a talon through my skull. I got up and looked for something to let that bird have it, but Chip grabbed my arm to stop me. "Watch out for them," he told me, pointing at the couple who looked frightened out of their minds. "Gadget and I will lead him away."

I didn't like it, but I nodded and took up a defensive position near the two chipmunks. Chip and Gadget worked together like a well-oiled machine, a fact that only in hindsight makes me think. But at the time, I was in awe of their seamless teamwork and found myself wondering if I would ever connect with someone that way.

During one sprint, Gadget tripped over a clump of grass that she didn't see. I ran to help her without thinking. I think I heard Chip yelling at me to get back because he was closer, but it didn't register until he had dragged her out of the way of a strafing attack.

"Look out!" both Chip and Gadget yelled at me. I looked up to see the bird lifting a bit higher. I thought he was going to go after the chipmunks so I skidded to a stop and tried to reverse my momentum. It wasn't until he brought his butt forward that I realized what he was going to do. There was only one thing I could think of to say.

"Oh shit!"

I must've spent the next two hours trying to shower the guano out of my hair. I've never felt so dirty or disgusting! Aargh! Just thinking about it makes me wants to throw things against the wall. Every time I washed my hair and saw that it wasn't yet clean, I swore more and more retribution on his head. I got my revenge, even if it took me a while to get it.

When I got out of the shower I found an outfit waiting for me by the towels. It looked like it was from the wife we had helped, and whose shower I had borrowed, and I smiled at her thoughtfulness. The dark green blouse and tan slacks weren't really my style, and they were a little tight in some areas and loose in others, but I was grateful I wouldn't have to put on the soiled clothes I had come in with.

I dried my fur as quickly as I could and dressed even quicker, eager to find this pigeon and extract painful payback. I expected to see Chip pacing, annoyed at the delay with Gadget sitting quietly nearby. But what I actually saw was Gadget bent over Chip as he sat in a chair, looking like he wanted to disappear into the cushions as she raged at him. Even though I couldn't hear what she was saying, she was really letting him have it! I'd heard rumors that Gadget can really lose it, but I never thought I'd ever be witness to it.

I tried to edge closer to see if I could understand her words, but I stepped on a knot that creaked even from my light weight. The sound made Gadget jump back a few inches and look ashamed of herself. I'm still not entirely sure what they were arguing about, but I have my suspicions.

"Are you all right Tammy?" Gadget asked, looking me over like my mother would.

Being treated like that should have bothered me, but it actually made me feel warm and happy. "I'm fine Gadget," I assured her. "Nothing damaged but my pride."

"It could've been a lot worse," Chip said, folding his arms over his chest. "Things like this happen when you don't follow orders."

My eyes dropped to the floor under my feet. In all my thoughts of revenge, I had forgotten the reason for it. "I'm sorry," I told them, and I was at the time.

"You'd better be," Chip said, ignoring the elbows Gadget was throwing into his side. "Look Tammy," he said more kindly this time, "when I give an order, I need you to follow it. I'm giving you a responsibility that I think you can handle, something that I can't worry about at that time. I'm depending on you. Even though I understand why you did what you did, you just ended up making a bad situation worse."

It hurt. It hurt a lot to hear Chip talking to me like that. But he was right. Part of being a Reservist was following orders, no matter how much I didn't like it. He must've seen how sorry and guilty I was feeling because the next thing I knew he threw his arm around my shoulders in a half hug. "We all make mistakes Tammy. Just remember that any mistakes you make don't only affect yourself anymore. Next time someone else might get seriously hurt."

Next time? I didn't even want to consider what he meant, but I had to ask. "Wait," I said, a little confused, "I'm getting another chance?"

"Well of course you are," Gadget said, hugging me from the other side. "Everyone deserves at least one second chance."

"I won't let you down again," I promised them. It seemed to satisfy them and we headed out, trying to pick up another lead on this racket.

I thought the footwork was tough before, but it barely prepared me for what we went through this time. Following what we had learned earlier, we kept to the southern area of the park, down around West 59th Street. It paid off though when we found a different bird, a crow this time, intimidating a young group of chipmunks and sending them scattering. I wanted to rush down there and tell this bird off too, but Chip grabbed my arm and shook his head. Reluctantly, very reluctantly(I can't stress that enough), I listened to him.

That bird was looking way too smug with himself. I swear I wanted to run over there and knock his beak off. But I didn't. I wanted to prove to Chip that I could follow orders, that I was worthy of his trust. And as the bird flew off with us following behind, I could just barely see his nod of approval out of the corner of my eye. It made my stomach all aflutter and even now I can still feel the touch of it.

...

What am I doing?? No, NO! I will not let that happen again! Not after what he did to me! No! No! No!

We tailed the bird past the borders of Central Park only for him to fly across the street. The midday traffic was too heavy for us to cross against the light, and I thought we were going to lose him. Imagine my surprise when he didn't go very far, circling around for a bit before landing on one of the most well-known and respected landmarks in this part of the city. "You've got to be kidding me," Gadget muttered. "They picked their home base as Carnegie Hall?"

"Don't assume anything Gadget," Chip cautioned her and I found myself agreeing. "It's hard to tell from our angle just where he landed, or it could be just a meeting place. We should get over there and find out."

It seemed like forever until the light changed. And in this city, it was entirely a possibility. But eventually we were able to get across the street and make our way over to Carnegie Hall. At least we tried to. As we passed under some scaffolding they struck, taking us totally off guard. Six or seven birds of all different kinds dove down from the steel ceiling and attacked us. Chip picked up a toothpick and managed to keep them at bay for a little bit, but it was clear the numbers were going to overwhelm us. "Get out of here!" he yelled at me. "Get the others!"

"But Chip--" I started to protest before having to dodge an attempt to snatch me off the ground.

"That's an order!"

I'd been hoping he wouldn't use those words, especially in a situation like this. It broke my heart, especially seeing how he was valiantly defending a downed Gadget, but I hauled tail. Two of the birds followed me, but I ducked under some waiting carriages and let the horses show those birds a thing or three.

I waited till all was quiet before trying to dash across the street, but I almost didn't wait long enough. "What should we do about her boss?" a rough voice asked, freezing me in mid-scamper. "If we don't find her she'll bring the others."

"Let them come," a high and surprisingly young voice said. I peered out from behind the wheel and saw a raven being ordered around by a really young sparrow. "We'll set a trap for them right inside the door," the sparrow said arrogantly, her chirping more high pitched than I thought it would be. "No more Rangers, no more troubles."

I kept perfectly still until the birds flew off then ran blindly for Ranger Headquarters. Thank goodness the light was in my favor or I'd be roadkill right now. I must've tripped more times in that one dash than I had in my whole life prior. I don't know how I did it, but I made it there in one piece. "Captured!" I gasped out as I flung open the door. "Waiting! Ambush! Trap!"

The others ran to me and tried to calm me down. It took Foxy and Zipper fanning me with their wings and Dale pressing a mug of water in my hands for me to catch my breath. I proceeded to tell them about the day, omitting a few details like getting pigeon bombed, but at least they understood what I was trying to say. "Come on, we have to save them!" I ended, hopping up out of the chair they'd coaxed me into.

"You're not going anywhere," Monty said, grabbing the back of my borrowed shirt. "You are staying right here." I prepared myself to whine, hoping to change his mind, but he just held up his hand. "You're in no condition to come with us Tammy," he insisted. "We're gonna have enough to worry about with saving Chip and Gadget without keeping an eye on you as well."

"And besides," Dale said, lightly punching my shoulder, "you know those two. They're probably on their way back here right now. We need someone to stay here to make sure they don't come back out after us!"

I didn't like it, but with Chip's words about following orders still ringing in my ears, I knew I couldn't argue. But as soon as the door closed I was working myself into a worry, pacing that floor so many times that I was starting to wear a rut in the wood. I lost count of how many times I pulled the door open with every intention of charging out there, but each time I did I slammed the door closed and continued my pacing.

I'm not sure how long I was pacing, but by the time I heard the door open my feet felt like they were about to fall off. I can't even express my relief at the moment, nor my fear when instead of a Ranger, I saw the pigeon who divebombed me. It took all of an instant for my fear to turn to rage. I was running at him before he even saw me, hitting him right in the head with both feet.

The pigeon dropped like a sack of feathers. But just as I was about to make duck soup out of the bird(and yes I know he's a pigeon!), two big arms grabbed me around my waist and lifted me off the ground no matter how much I struggled. "Easy does it there Tammy," a familiar voice with an Australian accent said near my ear.

Hearing that stopped me cold. "Monty?" I wondered, my voice no more than a whisper. I couldn't believe it, but there they were. The Rangers and the birds walking through the door side-by-side like they were old friends. Gadget was even checking on the one I'd taken down. "What the hell is going on here?" I demanded and I'm sure I sounded pretty hysterical at the time.

"Well you see Tammy," Foxglove said in a nervous way that made me think for a moment that Gadget was somehow in her body, "I think we have a lot of explaining to do."

"You mean my brother has a lot of explaining to do," Dale insisted.

I turned to look at Chip and found that he couldn't look me in the eyes. There was this sharp pain in my chest that I didn't recognize at the time but now I'm sure it was my heart breaking. I don't want to even think about how I looked when I whispered his name but I'm sure it was every bit as pathetic as I sounded.

Chip cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "I had to be sure Tammy," he said, still not looking at me. "Everything I said before was true. Being a Ranger Reservist means we are going to count on you not to do what you think is best but to follow our directions. You're our last line of backup; we'll be counting on you when there's nothing left. You can't afford to act recklessly.

"Even though you stumbled in the beginning, you proved yourself when it counted. I know it had to be hard to just sit here and wait, but you did it. You put the team ahead of your wants and you proved yourself to be a true Ranger Reservist. And just for the record, I swear to you I never agreed to letting him bomb you like that!"

If I hadn't been so hurt, I might've laughed at the pitiful expression on his face. I wanted to rage at him, cry, scream, howl, and do more things than I can remember right now. But I kept my expression perfectly neutral, not letting anyone know what was going on inside me. "So whose idea was all this anyway?" I asked in as normal a voice as I could muster.

Everyone pointed at Chip. Even Monty shifted his hold on me to one arm so that he could point as well. "But the rest of you went along with it?" I asked, hoping they didn't pick up on the tremor in my voice.

"We tried to talk him out of it," Gadget said, tying off the bandage she was putting around the pigeon's head. "But you know how stubborn Chip can be when he wants to be. He would've done this with or without our help so we went along with it to try and minimize the damage."

As I tried to take all that in, the sparrow I thought was the ringleader hopped forward. "Sorry about this Tammy," she chirped, ruffling her feathers in what I guess was an apologetic way. "Mister Chip told me what he planned on doing so I offered to get some of my friends to help him out. He and the other Rangers helped me find my way to where I belonged a year or so ago and I've been looking for a way to pay them back. In fact, everyone I recruited to help has been helped by the Rangers in some way."

I looked around at all the birds nodding their heads and I have to admit I was amazed. I always knew the Rangers had helped a lot of animals, but to see a bunch of them in one place was overwhelming. "And it's not just that Midge," Chip said, his chest puffing out slightly. "Everyone we talked to today, everyone who was in 'trouble', was also someone we've helped out."

"I guess I can understand why you did this," I told him, and the thing is I meant it. Don't get me wrong, I was still plenty pissed. Still am as a matter-of-fact. But I did understand his actions even if I didn't agree with them.

Monty loosened his grip on me and stepped back, though I could feel his eyes boring into the back of my head. "So you're not mad at us?" he asked like he couldn't believe it.

"Like I said, I understand," I repeated, but didn't give them more than that.

They relaxed at my words, so much that Chip even began to gloat about it. "See?" he said in a knowing voice. "I told you she'd be OK with it. I don't know why you didn't trust me." He pulled something from the pocket of his jacket and tossed it at me. "Congratulations Tammy. You made us all very proud today."

"Thanks everyone," I said, setting aside my anger as I soaked up the happiness and applause that surrounded me. In my hand lay a badge similar in design to the Rescue Rangers' symbol but lacking the lightning bolt. When that moment ended I put the badge in my pocket and turned to Gadget. "But I'm afraid I have to apologize to you Gadget," I said in a bit of a singsong voice that I've heard Mother use with Bink once in a while.

"Apologize?" Gadget asked, utterly confused. She looked around at the others and saw they were as clueless as she was. "For what?"

I held onto my neutral expression for as long as I could as I answered her question. "For any future happiness my actions may cost you." That just confused them all more, which I took advantage of. Before they even knew I was moving, I ran over to Chip and punted him so hard between the legs that I sent him at least three inches into the air.

A high-pitched whine of pain left Chip's mouth as he landed, curling into a ball with his hands protecting himself from any further damage. Gadget had gone bright red, realizing the intention behind my apology. Every other guy there was hunched over and gave me a wide berth as I stormed out the door. But just before I slammed it shut behind me, I swore I saw Foxglove giving me a thumbs-up...or what passed for it with her.

"And that's how I ended up here," I wrote, laying the pen down and shaking my hand out. I couldn't believe how much I wrote tonight! A quick glance back through the pages of my diary confirmed I'd written at least ten pages worth of stuff. Considering most of my entries didn't even take up a full page, that was saying a lot.

After I flexed out some of the cramping, I picked my pen up to finish what I'd started. "Again, I do understand why he did what he did, it just hurts to know he couldn't just trust me. Writing this down was a great thing though. I think it helped me come to terms with it better.

"Ah well, it's getting late and I should head to bed. As always, keep my secrets safe and I'll make sure you don't end up in a shredder. I'll write more tomorrow. Tammy."

I must've been laying on my bed for a long time writing this; my body pretty much refused to move when I told it to roll out of bed. But it did listen eventually and I returned my diary to its secret hiding place. I got myself ready for bed. Not my full routine since I was so tired, but I did manage to get my borrowed clothes off and slip into a nightgown.

As I made a note to return the clothing tomorrow, I saw my new badge glittering at me from the floor. I wanted that so much when I woke up this morning. Now as I bent down to pick it up I had to ask myself, was it really worth everything I'd been through?

But that was a decision best left for morning. I turned out the light and slipped into bed, the badge still clenched in my hand. As I brought it to my chest, feeling the coolness of the metal slide between my fur and rest against my skin, I knew I had only one answer.

Yes it had.


End file.
